man fuck guys!

ive got my heart played..hmm...6 TIMES IN A ROW! (Glen, Aaron, Levi, Shawn, John, && now Jeremy) ....im so fucking done, i swear...im so stupid! why do i waste my time? i guess ill never be good enough 4 any guy...whats wrong w/ me? why do they always cheat on me && lie 2 me? Glen cheated on me w/ Annie && Tiffany, Aaron cheated on me w/ Holly, Levi cheated on me w/ Ada, Shawn cheated on me w/ some whore named Rachel, John...well..we wont discuss what happened w/ that...&& Now Jeremy plays me w/ Courtney...WTF?? god, i want a relationship so bad! i just want 2 be w/ that one person that i care about..i just want 2 be happy w/ someone...why is that so much 2 ask? why do the ones i always get w/ hurt me? i hate this...my mom is right, i am pathetic...

x0x__Shandell

::..::edit::..:

OMGSH!! LEVI JUST CALLED && HE'S MOVING BACK 2 TEXAS THIS SUMMER W/ HIS DAD!! OMFG IM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO....HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MISS MY BABY SO MUCH!! THE OTHER DAY HE TOLD ME THAT HE'S MADLY IN LOVE W/ ME, && THAT HE WANTS 2 BE W/ ME AGAIN...ILL SHOW U...

*Levi* Koontz (01/09/2006 1:22:34 AM): Shandell i really do love you i would do anything to be back in texas with you but i screwed up and i wish i could change it but i cant and i know you really like jeremy and you want to get over me but you allways told me to tell you my feelings so here they are i just thought id let you know you are the most special thing in my life i love you baby

see...awwe! it made me cry...i love him.. && now i dont have 2 get over him!!! yay! gosh.. wow...<33333

Me && My amazing bf Jeremy...yeah...

be jealous!  hehe <33

hehe...i like him alot! he goes 2 school in Aquilla...such a doll! we get along great...&& i <3 that he doesnt try 2 get me 2 have sex w/ him...hell, we havent done anything more than kiss! its great! haha...im just so sick of being know as a whore, u know? so im gonna change. i promise...&& i think he can help me..i hope it works between he && i, im crazy about him...&& from the looks of it, its seems like he's crazy about me 2 =) <3

Me && Cyra (i <3 her!)

Sexy Me! <33

x0x__Shandell

omg...

im so stupid. why!? why did i do it? why did i let myself get hurt again?? && whats even worse is not only did i hurt myself, but i also hurt an amazing girl who didnt deserve it... i wouldnt have if he hadnt lied 2 me.. if he hadnt said there was nothing more between them.. if he wouldve told me she would be hurt, i wouldnt have done it. but i shouldve known. i want so badly 2 be angry w/ him for hurting me.. but i just cant be. idk why. why do i even like him so much? why did i give him what i took such pride in? why do i let myself get hurt time && time again?... im so sorry 4 everything ive done, i really am. i honestly didnt mean 2 hurt anyone... i know she hates me now, && that tears me up inside, but i guess i deserve it. im not angry w/ anyone... i dont want 2 fight, i dont want 2 dislike anyone... really. i just wish i could rewind things, so i could go back && fix my mistakes. my 1st time is so much different than how id pictured it 2 be... i wanted it 2 be special, 2 be amazing... 2 be full of passion && care... but it isnt, && that hurts me so bad 2 know that i just wasted it...ill never be a virgin again... i wish i hadnt done it. i thought i wouldnt regret it, really, && at 1st i didnt... but then i realized how badly she was hurt by it... && how much differently things really are between he && i... i just know that he doesnt care 4 me the way i wish he did. he cares 4 her... but he hurt her 2...&& its all my fault. she's right, i am selfish..... 

you're like a trend i can't stand everyone's
had you, everyone has you, everyone wants
you. && somehow i got you. a fashion i could '
barely afford but as trends go, just as i started ;
to fall, you decided i was just so out of style

I'm not the girl I used to be`.I got to
admit it.` A lot of shit got to me. </3`

i just can't wait until the day i hear a
happy love song on the radio & don't
wanna smash the damn thing.

sometimes I feel that [( nobody )]
else in this world could really be
feeling what I am.  I now feel broken
inside & all I know is that, it truly
hurts.

heartbroken && softspoken
so go on baby ;; walk right past me
           I'm used to it

You're too young to be this empty, girl
I'll prepare you for a sick dark world.

hay y'all!

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE.

well im up here at Nikki's right now. i effing love her! we went 2 the mall 2day && had pictures made, theyre super cute! uhm...lets see... 2nite we have 2 babysit, && then tomorrow morning we have church. later 2morrrow night we're gonna go see a movie w/ some friends && go 2 a party, then monday or tuesday we're going to 6flags && all that fun stuff....

 <~~ THIS GUY IS A BEAST! HAHAH!..wow...im dumb....

k...so basically i havent been myself lately... u all know what im talking about. there r quite a few ppl angry && dissappointed in me 4 what ive done. im sorry...but in all fairness, it was my decision. i dont regret it. we all do things in life that we probably shouldnt, but we all grow && learn from the experience. im trying really hard not 2 make this a bad experience...so im sorry if any of u are negatively affected by what i did, but just know that i dont wish i wouldnt have done it...its an experience i wanted 2 take, && i fulfilled my curiosity...

x0x__Shandell

live for today
&& forget about tomorrow.

at some point you learn to accept the fact that
the people you wish wouldn't change do, good
byes hurt .&- they  only mean forever-if you let
them.  Pictures never replace being there   -&-
nothing lasts forever.<3 But, you also learn to
laugh until your stomach hurts .&- act so crazy
people think you're high.Live for the days with
your  best friends;; .&- just having fun because
life's   too short   to   worry   about   .c.h.a.n.g.e.
You wanted something more than this
Fell down for someone elses kiss

sometimes you just gotta take the
good with the bad and make the
most of what you have*

There are moments in my life that
I'll always remember.. Not because
they were important, but because
you were there

dont ever regret what once made you smile =)

you're only as strong as
the tables you dance on
THE DRiNKS YOU MiX
& the friends you roll with

but my god it's sooo
                               BEAUTIFUL 
                                                        when that boy smiles 

All I need to know is that I'll be something you're missing.

i'll NEVER Forget You

&& everytime I talk to you I fall a little harder

Whoever said sunshine was happiness

has never gone dancing

in the rain ©

Hay my

  sexy thugs &&

gangstas!

(haha...im so white...)

welp... im leaving 2 go 2 Nikki's 2day! yay! im excited! i freaking love her like no other!! i havent really been up 2 much these past few days... just finals && what-not. thank god we're out of school for 2 weeks! i really need the break! lol. while im out, im gonna chill, party && have a blast!  i cant wait 2 go meet some hotties, dance, && of course, spend time w/ my Nikki! ha..yall r so jealous that u dont have a bff as awesome as her! =p suckers...lol. dang Nikki, do u realize that we've been best friends for almost 6 years...holy crap thats a long time!! we've been through SO much...just think about it... dang. uve seen me at my best, && definately at my worst, && u still love me the same. thank u so much 4 being so good 2 me girl....i dont think anything could tear us apart! =) anyways... Levi && i are doing pretty good. we've talked every night this week. i really really want 2 get over it... i thought i was... but it just didnt happen. i do still like this other guy though...alot. but sometimes i feel like he doesnt even notice me. idk. i could just be paranoid about it. yall know how i am! lol. well, i think im gonna go finish getting packed! yall leave me lotz of love while im gone! ill be home in a few days! <333

x0x__Shandell 

shout out of the day goes

 2 my Kaylaylaylaylala!!!!!!--

 hay girl! ha! just wanted

 2 let u know that i effing

love u lady!! have a

good xmas!! <33333333